Life plans.
I'm pretty sure most if not all of y'all have plans for your life. I don't really think there's anyone in this life that doesn't have a plan for their life. There has to be something we want to achieve.
For me, I want to be independent of anyone. Not my parents, family or husband in the future.
I'll say I owe everything to my mother because that woman taught me to never rely on anyone and be independent. My mom is a civil worker, and even with that I saw how she started other businesses to earn a living for both of us. Don't get me wrong, I have a father so don't think she's a single mother but right now I'm not talking about him but rather her.
I saw how she fended for herself without asking for anyone's help, not even my father's. I'll say she's the strongest woman in my eyes and I guess that's why I'm always writing about women in most of my write-ups. Bottom line is, she taught me stand on my two feet and make a living for myself without having to depend on anyone and that's exactly what I want to do.
I'm a science student and only a couple of months ago wrote my jamb hoping I'll get to study medicine and become a doctor, a gynecologist. But the thing is no matter how much I wanted to be a doctor there was this part of me that find solace in poetry. I love it so much that I cannot just give it up, to me I think it's a talent that Allah blessed me with and I ought to make the best of it.
Poetry is my form of therapy. Believe it or not every single one of us is fighting some sort of demons in our life. It's an unspoken battle that we hide away from the world in smiles which makes others think our lives are the typical 'picture-perfect' we portray it to be. It never ceases to amaze me how we can hide so much pain in ourselves and somehow no one seems to notice it. Yet, we all have ways to heal ourselves in a way no one understood.
To me, that thing is poetry. One thing I believe that the writer holds the pen to write but the pen holds the writer's truth. In every work a writer puts down there has to be some hidden about his/herself. Either something the writer experienced, something the person going through or something the writer witnessed and felt the need to share it with the world in his view. In my case, every poem, quote, write-up and book I write it definitely has something to do with me. I'm trying to convince myself by convincing others that everything will be ok even if I don't believe it. But I needed to do that for my own sake and sanity.
I've made this far in my life alone and alhamdullilah, I don't need anyone to say it but I'm proud of myself. I've found a way to pursue my other dream of being a writer without my mom or any of my family members knowing up till date. I've wrote a couple of books, some of which I'm hoping to publish in hardcopy. Though most of them are too short to be a single book on their own so it would be more of a collectanea, and then maybe 99 days my prince will be the first book that will be hardcopy on its own. That's one of my goals and in shaa Allah I'll make it become a reality in the future.
Another thing is that I've managed to create an instagram account where I could upload my poems, quotes and videos to share it with the world. I'm still surprised at how none of my siblings know about this; I guess I'm good at hiding stuff. My mom only knew that I make videos a few weeks back, but even then she thought I only made two videos. Believe me if there's someone I want to tell about everything is my mom but I'm just not ready to find out what she'll think of it considering her only dream is to see me become a doctor not a writer. Though based on her reaction on the videos, she was hella proud of me so much that it left me tongue tied. I'm still not going to tell her about the rest though till when I'm ready.
And the third thing is that I started my very own blog which have been a dream of mine since like forever. I was worried that maybe I won't reach up to my reader's expectation or maybe they might not find it interesting or useful in anyway but from the little response I've had so far I'm no longer worried about it. And mostly it's because of two girls that I've met; one just recently and one over a year ago. I don't know how but these two have managed to be here for me before anyone else so I'm very grateful to my PIC and soulmate. God knows their support is what kept me going on from the beginning. And to the others that joined I'm grateful to y'all too.
Moving on, I've always dreamed of starting a business. I haven't started that yet and I'm not planning on starting it anytime soon because I have enough on my plate already but in shaa Allah I will definitely make it a reality.
As a lady, I believe that each and every one of us should learn to fend for ourselves. It's not always that men will be there to help us. And imagine being a mother, do you want to be those type of wives that will always ask their men for everything? Personally I pity those types of wives, that's just my opinion though. I know some didn't choose that for themselves so I pray that Allah sees them through it. Anything other than that, women need to stand on their feet and earn a living for themselves, their parents and their children.
Moreover, if you're going to achieve so much in your life then you needs to get away from people who don't believe in you and only bring out the worst in you, they'll only keep dragging you back. Instead, work hard and prove them wrong.
It will take time, I know that but I also know that because of how determined I am I will make my dreams a reality.
It will take time.
But I know it'll be worth it.
Love, Jannah.